People do some really stupid things, which includes trying to feed alligators. Life can get ugly when a human says, “Hold my beer,” and an apex predator sees the hand holding half a ham sandwich as lunch. In such situations, Bubba Human and Bubba Gator have one biological trait in common, namely a brain the size of a pecan. (Pronounced pee-can, not puh-cahn, thank you very much.)
There are a few things you should keep in mind when contemplating your relationship with alligators. They are dumb as rocks, but they are perpetually hungry unless they’re sunbathing, which is when they’re simply building up an appetite.
They are fundamentally wary of humans and do not view us as food. However, if you feed ‘em, they lose their wariness and can get grumpy. They are not particularly selective in their dietary habits, although they have a predilection for baby ducks, fish, fawns, and swimming dogs (something for Labrador retriever lovers to think about).
Gators like to feed at night, so a midnight skinny dip off the dock in a tidal creek can become an unruly adventure if Bubba Gator is checking his fridge for a late-night snack.
Another thing to remember is, stay far away from alligator babies. Chances are, if you see a baby gator, mama is near at hand. Nothing fires up a mama gator more than a perceived danger to her offspring, which she protects for at least two years after they are born. If you see some little fellers, and particularly if they’re barking, do not say to yourself, “Awww, they’re soooo cute,” followed by reaching out your hand and saying, “Here baby gator. I have something for you.” If you do, it is quite likely the next thing you will see is a huge open mouth about to chomp down on the nearest of your body parts.
That will be an owie of epic proportions and can result in an untimely death.
Bottom line advice from the Lowcountry Writer is to leave those danged dimwitted, over-weight, snaggle-toothed, salamanders alone…unless, of course, you have a hankering for some gator tail fritters, and the Department of Natural Resources has sent you a harvest tag.