Nearly everyone who has spent more than an hour in the Lowcountry has probably encountered one of the more bizarre critters among the plethora of invasive species roaming around our area. I am referring to the good old armadillo, which entered our country from Mexico long before border walls and ICE agents. If you’ve had your front yard ravaged by Bubba ‘Dillo, you may wish those pesky critters would self-deport…but it’s not likely to happen because the Lowcountry is filled with things armadillos like to eat.
Armadillos are primarily nocturnal, so if you plan on being a night stalker armed with a weapon of armadillo destruction, it pays to be an insomniac. And even then, it can be pretty near impossible.
I’m definitely not an advocate for killing armadillos, and there’s a wonderfully simple trap you can build yourself. It comes with a carrying handle so you can deposit your quarry somewhere in nature far away from your home…or, if you’re a Gamecocks fan, dump the ‘dillo on the lawn of someone sporting a Clemson banner…just kidding because that idea works both ways! And the last thing I want to do is incite an internecine armadillo war among college football fans. The armadillos could get hurt in the ensuing fray.
Before getting to the trap, let’s start with a few noteworthy facts:
If you have one armadillo in your backyard, it is likely you will have up to five. Armadillos believe in the family plan, so mom and dad will cohabit and produce between one and three offspring. They will dig a comfortable burrow in places like under your house, under the roots of the prettiest tree in your front yard, in the side of a creek bank, or just about anywhere there’s easy digging and a nearby food source. It’s the food supply that usually leads to their aggravating rooting behavior.
So, what do they eat? They’re in the same biological superorder as anteaters (Xenarthra), which means they’ll eat grubs, worms, ants, a variety of bugs, AND drum roll please, mole crickets. Mole crickets are the absolute favorite meal of Bubba ‘Dillo. When your garden or lawn is torn up, you can bet your bippy you’ve got a mole cricket infestation.
Mole crickets are so ugly, even their mamas leave them be. They’re about two inches long when fully grown, and they have claw-like forelegs, which they use for digging tunnels through the roots of your beautiful (and expensive) sod.
Behold the mole cricket:
These critters can wreak havoc on your yard when they infest your beautifully tended lawn and start digging their intricate subterranean tunnels. Bubba ‘Dillo would make a great antidote to a mole cricket infestation if the ‘dillo cure wasn’t worse than the ailment. Armadillos have no regard for horticultural aesthetics when they are in pursuit of gnarly bugs.
Now for the ‘dillo trap, the ultimate Lowcountry DIY project. It’s just a box made of pressure-treated three-quarter-inch plywood (32” L x 13” H x 12” W) with sliding panels on each end and a hole in the top. The hole accommodates the trigger stick, which causes the end panels to drop when the stick is bumped by Bubba ‘Dillo walking through the trap. Please note, it is very important to install a metal flange on the floor of the trap behind each drop door because Bubba ‘Dillo is strong and smart. Without the flange, they can get their claws under the drop door, lift it, and escape.
One of these days I’ll try to post a set of construction plans on my LowcountryWriter.com website, but for now, here are some pics:
What, you might ask, would make an armadillo enter the trap? They’re interesting creatures. They like to follow straight lines and edges. You don’t need bait. If you find a burrow, you can put two boards in a V-shape funneling toward the burrow entrance and place the trap in the V alongside one board. Chances are, they’ll just wander into the trap. Further, once you’ve actually caught an armadillo, the trap will have residual scent, which acts as an attractant to Bubba ‘Dillo’s kinfolk.
When you catch a ‘dillo in your nifty trap, you can pick up the trap by the carrying handle and safely release the critter in a suitable habitat far afield. And as you catch the rest of the resident ‘dillo clan—which you likely will—you can reunite the family in a place where they can live contentedly ever after.
Don’t you just love happy endings?
